Choose the right woman.
Most men don’t. Not the first time, anyway.
CHOOSE the right woman.
That’s right, CHOOSE. It’s a choice.
Don’t lock down the first woman that agrees to be naked around you or the first woman that does your laundry.
You’re not limited to the first woman that comes along.
You need to make a very deliberate choice, not “just let things happen naturally“.
I spend an average of 288 hours a year alone in nature and I can tell you I’ve never seen a buck “just happen” upon a doe in estrus. He actively chooses one and seals the deal.
You probably won’t have to run the length of nine football fields to seal the deal, so count your blessings.
Don’t get it twisted.
I’m not saying you need to be in a relationship. Most people can’t.
Let’s get this out of the way:
THE ONLY REASON TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS TO FREE UP YOUR TIME.
You’re a busy man and you have things to do. You’re past the point in life where “fuck a lot” is your biggest goal.
Having a quality woman at home will eliminate many of your daily hassles and you can put that energy to better use elsewhere.
I haven’t had to think about cooking, cleaning, washing clothes or dishes, or feeding my pets for seven years. I would not be able to work as hard as I do if I did.
Also note the difference between having a woman and marrying one.
THIS IS NOT A MARRIAGE POST.
Most men should not marry. You have to walk before you can run, and you have to figure out how to have a woman around before you give her tenure.
Most men haven’t done this, so most men shouldn’t marry. They don’t seem to understand the purpose of marriage.
You shouldn’t marry a woman unless she is the future mother of your children. Also, you should only marry a woman if your vision for your children includes a cohesive family unit.
Do not “fall for a girl” then marry her “because you’re supposed to” and then “just so happen” to knock her up.
It’s a recipe for disaster.
You could ignore this advice.
When it blows up in your face, I’ll be right there saying, “I told you so.”
Above all, don’t ignore your better judgement because you think you’re “in love”. Don’t worry, everybody feels like that at first.
It isn’t bad to fall for a woman and get burned, but it IS bad to fail to learn your lesson.
How To Choose The Right Woman
1. Know Yourself and Know What You’re Looking For
Know what you’re into. A good example of this for me is Asian girls.
I’ve never been attracted to Asian girls. Even beautiful ones.
Maybe its all that evil white racist rebel southern blood. Maybe I just don’t have that particular fetish.
Its just not my thing.
It wouldn’t be a good idea for me to get into a relationship with an Asian girl because I’m not going to be into her. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us, so it would be a waste of time.
The goal here is to make your life better, not make someone else’s worse.
If you think making a girl you’re not attracted to fall in love with you sounds like fun, then you’re a scumbag and you should go read something else.
2. Love IS Required, But It Is NOT Enough
I’m not talking about that Romeo and Juliet “die without you” bullshit television love. I’m saying that if you don’t care about her AT ALL, you’re wasting your time.
So yes, love is required, but it is most certainly NOT enough.
“Love“, which is usually just “settling” is usually followed by “complacency“.
Complacency is a one way road to hell and nobody cares what the road was paved with. Chances are good that when you get complacent, you’re going to get dumped.
This is not 1946. This is 2016. As a man in 2016, you’re aware of your odds.
People aren’t primed for permanent relationships anymore. You can be guaranteed that even if you forget this fact, she won’t.
Since you got all soft and complacent, it’ll be a few years (if ever) before you’re even slightly able to re-enter the night life and try to find someone else to “love“.
You have to be compatible mentally, but you also have to be compatible physically.
3. You Must Be Attractive To Her, She Must Be Attractive To You
You Must Be Attractive To Her
Do NOT fall into the trap of seeking a woman who “loves you for you”.
Humans are visual creatures. This is normal, natural, and ideal. Don’t believe me?
When you see an attractive woman in her twenties on the arm of a man in his eighties, what’s your first thought?
“Wow, he really waited too long to have kids.”
“She’s a gold digger.”
“He looks really happy and she looks really miserable.”
Whatever you think, you instinctively know that there ain’t peace in that valley. Have you ever wondered why you thought that?
If that man was in his twenties, had low body fat, white teeth, and a tan, would you still think those things?
So if you want to go out and get a woman that’s attractive to you, maybe the first thing you should do is be the kind of man that’s attractive to her.
She Must Be Attractive To You
Don’t settle for an ugly woman you can’t stand to look at just because she’ll settle for you.
If you’re going to settle for one woman, she has to be enough to satisfy you. If not, you’ll end up having to replace her later.
I’ll take this a step further.
Her Mother Must Be Attractive To You
Take a good, long look at your woman. Then take a good, long look at her mother.
Odds are good that when she gets older, that’s who she’s going to look like when you look like your Dad does now.
Best to eliminate all doubt and take a good look at her Dad, too.
You want to future-proof your potential relationship as much as possible.
4. Trial by Fire.
This is the most important part by far.
If you’re hell bent on being in a long term relationship, you should do your best to destroy it.
I don’t mean you should immediately get married then have an affair on the honeymoon and see if your wife still wants to come back to the suburbs with you (I don’t recommend any part of that scenario).
Enter a difficult situation. Live together in an apartment with the highest rent you can find. Better yet, live together in the nicest hotel in your city.
If you live in a village, then move to a city and find the most expensive living arrangements available.
I don’t recommend renting a house because it stirs images in us. You don’t want to be playing house and play acting a 1950’s sitcom.
MAKE IT REAL
Live your real life like a real person in a real difficult situation to simulate what you might really go through together later.
If you still think that woman is the nicest, sweetest girl you’ve ever met when you’re both broke and struggling, you probably won’t have to worry about any resentments growing between you later on.
If she trusts you and supports you completely when you’re doing a good job of putting the two of you in the poor house, you won’t have to worry about her jumping ship when you start a business and don’t get a paycheck every week.
Make no mistake, this is absolutely the most critical step by far.
Put the both of you to the test before you make any kind of commitment.
5. 100% Mutual Support
If you take a woman in…put her to the test…provide for her in your way…she provides for you in hers…
Guess what that means?
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE HER HAPPY.
Guess what else?
IT IS HER RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
If you really tested your relationship in a crucible of hellfire and she stuck by you and trusted you, you’ve got to understand that she’s a rare bird.
Don’t immediately conclude that she’s the be-all-end-all for you, though.
She’s probably in the top 10% for you.
With roughly seven billion people on planet earth, and an assumed gender ratio of 1:1, that means there are 349,999,999 other women in your top 10% left in the world.
Three Hundred Forty Nine Million, Nine Hundred Ninety Nine Thousand, Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine other women for you in the world.
If you’re making her happy and she starts making you miserable…