Choose the right woman.
Most men don’t. Not the first time, anyway.
CHOOSE the right woman.
That’s right, CHOOSE. It’s a choice.
Don’t lock down the first woman that agrees to be naked around you or the first woman that does your laundry.
You’re not limited to the first woman that comes along.
You need to make a very deliberate choice, not “just let things happen naturally“.
I spend an average of 288 hours a year alone in nature and I can tell you I’ve never seen a buck “just happen” upon a doe in estrus. He actively chooses one and seals the deal.
You probably won’t have to run the length of nine football fields to seal the deal, so count your blessings.
Before We Get Started
I’m not saying you need to be in the kind of relationship I’m about to describe. Most men can’t.
Let’s get this out of the way:
THE ONLY REASON TO BE IN THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP IS TO FREE UP YOUR TIME.
This is not for you if you want to prioritize your sex life above your work. Guess what? Most men don’t have the ability to prioritize their sex life above their work. The ones who can usually do.
So who, then, is this post for? Men, obviously, but which men? Admittedly, a very small minority.
This post is for…
Men who have already had a sufficient amount of sex to be able to figure out what they actually want in a woman.
Men who are socially capable of testing several women for this role (you’re choosing, not settling).
Having met both above criteria, these men would then be able to commit resources to what I call the Trial By Fire below. This is both Time and Money cost.
Men who have the balls to break it off as soon as anything goes wrong and won’t let their feelings guide them.
Men who are able to say “Working on XYZ is more important to me right now than having variety in my sex life”.
Finally, in case it wasn’t obvious by the first 5 points, Men who DO NOT expect this period of their life to last very long.
This is not for finding a girlfriend. This is not for finding a wife. Hell, it isn’t even for finding friends with benefits. No, this is an unorthodox relationship you may not understand. I will attempt to explain it as simply as possible.
This post is about choosing a woman you can live with, possibly financially support, definitely have sex with, and definitely rely upon for every day chores. All of this, by the way, with her full knowledge of, and consent to, the situation.
Why would you want this, and only this, from the only woman in your life?
Simple. So you can spend as much of your time as possible pursuing your mission. Whether that’s building a business, creating a masterpiece, or whatever else.
Having a quality woman at home will eliminate many of your daily hassles and you can put that energy to better use elsewhere. This is absolutely all you care about in this relationship: her supporting your mission 100%.
Many who read the original version of this post mistook it for a marriage post.
THIS IS NOT A MARRIAGE POST.
Most men should not marry. Especially men who believe that making a woman your wife will, in and of itself, make her willing and able to support your mission 100%.
They also don’t seem to understand the purpose of marriage. A marriage isn’t about you and her as much as it is your potential children.
You shouldn’t marry a woman unless she is the future mother of your children. Also, you should only marry a woman if your vision for your children includes a cohesive family unit.
Do not “fall for a girl” then marry her “because you’re supposed to” and then “just so happen” to knock her up.
It’s a recipe for disaster.
You could ignore this advice.
When it blows up in your face, I’ll be right there saying, “I told you so.”
Above all, don’t ignore your better judgement because you think you’re “in love”. Don’t worry, everybody feels like that at first.
It isn’t bad to fall for a woman and get burned, but it IS bad to fail to learn your lesson.
Now, if this post is for you, and you understand what job you are choosing the right woman for, we can begin.
How To Choose The Right Woman
1. Know Yourself and Know What You’re Looking For
Know what you’re into. A good example of this for me is Asian girls.
I’ve never been attracted to Asian girls. Even beautiful ones.
Maybe its all that evil white racist rebel southern blood. Maybe I just don’t have that particular fetish.
Its just not my thing.
It wouldn’t be a good idea for me to get into a relationship with an Asian girl because I’m not going to be into her. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us, so it would be a waste of time.
The goal here is to make your life better, not make someone else’s worse.
If you think making a girl you’re not attracted to fall in love with you sounds like fun, then you’re missing the point of this kind of relationship. You are seeking greater productivity, and if you are the type to waste both your time and hers, this is not for you.
2. Love IS Required, But It Is NOT Enough
I’m not talking about that Romeo and Juliet “die without you” bullshit television love. I’m saying that if you don’t care about her AT ALL, you’re wasting your time.
You (or her, most likely her) will notice this lack of affection and both of you will fail at the job you’re trying to perform.
So yes, love is required, but it is most certainly NOT enough.
She must fully and completely support your mission, which means she must understand that your mission comes before her. She will be directly benefiting from your results, but she won’t be logically thinking about this if you don’t make it clear.
She will, unless she is very young, expect you to get more serious with her over time.
Most likely, she will expect commitment and possibly marriage if you are not up front with her about what you want. You are looking for support, not a wife. What’s more, if you’re smart, you will not want marriage unless you want kids.
She will want something serious, and depending on how well she supports you and how much you like her, you might be tempted to oblige her. Do NOT fall into this trap.
This is not 1946. This is 2016. As a man in 2016, you’re aware of your odds.
People aren’t primed for permanent relationships anymore. You can be guaranteed that even if you forget this fact, she won’t.
What’s more, she will be able to find another man who demands far less of her quicker than you’ll be able to find someone to do her job. Do not forget this.
Yes, love is required, but it is not enough. She must fully understand and accept you put your mission above her, and you must not waver on this until you’re done building.
3. You Must Be Attractive To Her, She Must Be Attractive To You
You Must Be Attractive To Her
Do NOT fall into the trap of seeking a woman who “loves you for you”.
Humans are visual creatures. This is normal, natural, and ideal. Don’t believe me?
When you see an attractive woman in her twenties on the arm of a man in his eighties, what’s your first thought?
“Wow, he really waited too long to have kids.”
“She’s a gold digger.”
“He looks really happy and she looks really miserable.”
Whatever you think, you instinctively know that there ain’t peace in that valley. Have you ever wondered why you thought that?
If that man was in his twenties, had low body fat, white teeth, and a tan, would you still think those things?
So if you want to go out and get a woman that’s attractive to you, maybe the first thing you should do is be the kind of man that’s attractive to her.
She Must Be Attractive To You
Don’t settle for an ugly woman you can’t stand to look at just because she’ll settle for you.
If you’re going to settle for one woman, even temporarily, she has to be enough to satisfy you. If not, you’ll end up having to replace her before you’re done.
4. Trial by Fire.
This is the most important part by far.
If you expect her to go for this kind of relationship, you should do your best to destroy it.
I don’t mean you should immediately get married then have an affair on the honeymoon and see if your wife still wants to come back to the suburbs with you (I don’t recommend any part of that scenario).
Enter a difficult situation. Live together in an apartment with the highest rent you can find. Better yet, live together in the nicest hotel in your city.
If you live in a village, then move to a city and find the most expensive living arrangements available.
I don’t recommend renting a house because it stirs images in us. You don’t want to be playing house and play acting a 1950’s sitcom.
MAKE IT REAL
Live your real life like a real person in a real difficult situation to simulate what you might really go through together later.
If you still think that woman is the nicest, sweetest girl you’ve ever met when you’re both broke and struggling, you probably won’t have to worry about any resentments growing between you later on.
Drama heading your way at any point in your hustle will derail productivity and defeats the entire purpose of this kind of relationship.
If she trusts you and supports you completely when you’re doing a good job of putting the two of you in the poor house, you won’t have to worry about her jumping ship when you are starting a business and don’t get a paycheck every week.
Make no mistake, this is absolutely the most critical step by far.
Put the both of you to the test before you rely on her.
5. 100% Mutual Support
If you take a woman in…put her to the test…provide for her in your way…she provides for you in hers…
Guess what that means?
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP HER HAPPY.
Guess what else?
IT IS HER RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP YOU HAPPY.
If you really tested your relationship in a crucible of hellfire and she stuck by you and trusted you, you’ve got to understand that she’s a rare bird.
Don’t immediately conclude that she’s the be-all-end-all for you, though.
You probably won’t want to kick her to the curb once your life slows back down. However, she’s probably in the top 10% for you. The top 10%.
With roughly seven billion people on planet earth, and an assumed gender ratio of 1:1, that means there are 349,999,999 other women in your top 10% left in the world.
Three Hundred Forty Nine Million, Nine Hundred Ninety Nine Thousand, Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine other women for you in the world.
If you’re making her happy and she starts making you miserable…