Fatherhood is a terrifying thing. You’re going from just having yourself and your woman in your life to having children.
I know, I’ve been there.
Before we talk about how to give your children the best head start possible, let’s address the fear of fatherhood.
I’m not talking about the guys who are outright refusing the possibility of having children. This is for the guys who are going to have a child in less than forty weeks and aren’t prepared.
Fear of Fatherhood
It’s one thing for a man who is established to discover his woman is pregnant. That’s great news.
It’s another thing entirely for a man who wasn’t prepared to have children.
I was middle of the road. The actual timing of my woman’s pregnancy was a surprise, but I already knew I wanted her to mother my children.
To be blunt, I quit pulling out.
As I recommended, I was living with her in a hotel suite at the time. I was reading a book and I don’t remember what she did, but I realized something.
I put my book down, looked at her and said, “You’re pregnant.”
She didn’t believe me, but I live by instinct. Didn’t have any evidence, but I knew.
I drove her to a pharmacy and bought three pregnancy tests. I drove her back to the hotel and we went to the bathroom while she used the tests.
Important note: make sure she uses the tests right.
Am I telling you to go in the bathroom and watch?
Yes, yes I am. This is your future, Jack.
If your stomach is so weak you can’t watch your woman piss you’re in for a shock in a few months. Children will do some of the most disgusting things you’ve ever seen.
All three tests I’d bought came back positive.
She immediately threw herself on the bed, crying. She assumed I’d leave her.
As a control tactic, I’d told her in the past that was a distinct possibility. That was before I’d made the decision that she was the mother of my unborn children.
That changes everything.
You have to understand that whether or not you used such a control tactic in the past, your woman is going to have an intense emotional reaction to this new information.
Her OODA loop is fried. She’s going to slide head first down a water slide of emotions.
In addition to the startling revelation that you’re going to have children soon, the mother of your unborn child is distraught. You’re suddenly swarmed with problems.
Many people freeze up when they’re confronted with a problem. I don’t work that way.
I’m an answer man.
The first thing on the list was to pacify her and reassure her that everything was going to be fine.
Let me be clear: you have to be steadfast right now because she isn’t going to be.
She needs to know that you’re not going to leave her. You need to have an answer to every potential concern she may have.
This is for her and you and your unborn child. The stress isn’t good for the baby, which isn’t even a baby at this point.
You also need to assuage your own fears.
None of those things had settled yet, but the wheels were in motion and I was the one moving them.
Those three things are a few of your challenges to overcome before you start worrying about how you’re going to give your children a head start in life.
Enough about me. Let’s talk about You.
Specifically, what’s the best thing you can do to give your children a head start in life?
Freedom. Give them freedom.
And how do you do that?
Start a business. Not just a business, but a corporation.
We won’t get into whether you should file as a C-Corp or an S-Corp, but you should most certainly incorporate your business.
Let’s look at the reasons why.
Own Your Own Income
First and foremost, by being president of the company that pays you, no one can take your income stream away. You don’t get paid, you make money.
That’s a big difference.
If you aren’t your own boss, your income isn’t yours. It can be taken from you at any time and for any reason.
I shouldn’t have to explain why “Daddy lost his job” is bad for your children.
Opportunity for Your Children
How many times have you seen someone succeed, only to lay it off as them riding their father’s coattails?
Pisses you off? Only because you’re not the one getting a ride.
No father has ever regretted leaving his children a wealth of opportunities. Ever. End of discussion.
Your child will come into the adult world with financial backing and opportunities for employment in your company. You don’t have to henpeck them to get a job, you just give them a job and they work.
Don’t get this twisted.
I’m not suggesting you raise your children to be entitled twerps with no work ethic. Quite the opposite.
I’m suggesting you ingrain the importance of work, not by harping on about it for hours on end, but by actually giving them work to do.
Teach them the rewards of labor by allowing them to experience it firsthand.
All you have to give them is a job. That’s where the preferential treatment ends.
As a lazy teenager, I was fired by my parents. They gave me a job, I didn’t do it, and they treated me the same as they would any other employee.
I suggest you do the same.
Hedge Against Uncertainty
When you’re just saving money, you’re just wasting time. Aside from the reasons I’ve mentioned before, you have to think about the security of your savings.
Where is that money? A bank, most likely.
Now whether that’s an investment bank or a conventional savings account, you have to realize that banks can fail. In the event of a failing bank and a failing government, how are you going to get “your money”?
Don’t presume that a bunch of suits you’ve never met give a rat’s ass about whether or not you can get your money when you need it. Don’t over-value things like the FDIC.
When the sky’s falling, nobody gives a damn if you need an umbrella.
If you put your money into your business, you can guarantee your access to it.
You’re still going to be banking, obviously. The difference is that you have a wider variety of options with greater protection from future uncertainty.
The reason for this is that a corporation is different from a sole proprietorship.
A sole proprietorship means your business is your property.
A corporate entity is just that, it is its own entity.
The rules are different. Your business’s assets are your assets, and share the same problems as your savings. Your incorporated business’s assets belong to your business.
This brings a host of benefits designed by and for the elite to cover their own asses. Instead of boo-hooing about how unfair things are, take advantage of the system as it is.
The following reasons all fall into this theme.
As above, the rules are different for corporations than they are for people.
Insuring a company car costs almost a third as much as insuring a personal car. Additionally, your insurance expenses are tax deductible.
Workers don’t pay taxes. If you make W2 income, you don’t pay taxes.
Taxes are taken from you.
If you’re the boss, you pay taxes. We won’t get too deep into tax voodoo, just understand the difference.
You have a much more broad list of possible deductions when you’re self employed, since there’s a lot that can be considered a business expense.
You still want to do things by the book. Your children aren’t going to have much of life if you’re in prison, which is exactly where you’ll be if you try to push the envelope too far with your taxes.
The idea is this: you make money and you have to pay taxes on it. You spend money to make that money, it’s a requirement of making that money, and it’s an expense of doing business.
That’s what a deduction is. It affects what you’re going to pay in.
A word of warning: you still have to make money.
This isn’t a “get free stuff” magic trick. You’re still spending money, and you’ll be reminded of that fact if you’ve bought so much shit you don’t have any cash to stack at the end of the year.
Now, let’s get to the biggest advantage you can give your children.
Imagine for a moment that you live a good, long life with your beautiful (though now old) wife and your wonderful children.
They’ve grown into adults you can be proud of. Level headed, with strong values and a healthy view of themselves and the world around them.
Then you die.
Well, its a good thing you’re a hard working man. You’ve amassed quite a bit of assets to distribute to your children. Good thing you lived a good, long life and your children are already established.
If you die early, that fucks up everything.
Don’t think you can’t die. Memento Mori: Remember, You are Human. Remember, You will Die.
If you die before your children are established, you have to rely on your woman to keep things together. You’ll have to hope that your children will become functional adults without a strong father figure. You’ll have to hope everything works out.
Guess what? That’s not likely to happen.
You’re dead, and your wife is struggling to pay the bills. Your kids can’t work for your business and help out because your business is a sole proprietorship.
It’s your property, so it’s tied up in probate with the rest of your property. Probate could take over a year to settle, and who knows what the probate judge is going to decide to do with it.
Having a will and a lawyer is all well and good, but it isn’t going to dramatically speed up probate. Your money is still tied up and your family is still fucked.
If you incorporated your business, you’ve already fixed this problem.
A corporation is its own entity, separate from you. It doesn’t care that you’re dead.
Business goes on.
Money is still coming in and going out. Jobs are still available. All you have to do is ensure that someone’s able to step up and fill your shoes, even if they have to learn a little as they go.
Ensure that any important assets are company property, not personal property. That way, very little is tied up in probate because you didn’t own anything except shares in the company.
How those shares will be distributed after your death is a great point of interest for your will. That’s for you to decide.
You don’t have to worry about your family, and your children will be grateful that dear old dad was thinking about them.
- The greatest gift you can give your children is a head start in life.
- The greatest gift you can give your children is freedom.
- Freedom is bought with blood, sweat, and money.
- YOUR blood, sweat, and money.
- The greatest gift you can give your children doesn’t stop at a head start.
- The greatest gift you can give your children will outlive you.