Millennials. Young, entitled, delicate. Easily offended. Spent their whole lives with the internet, never heard the phrase “Go look it up” and thought of an encyclopedia.
Actually, no. Not even close.
What is a Millennial?
Millenial is a word referring to Generation Y. Generation Y was a placeholder name until a better one was found, but I prefer Generation Y to Millennial.
Because people don’t seem to understand exactly who is a Millennial and who isn’t. This is pretty common, actually.
My grandparents assumed they were both baby boomers, when in actuality only one of them is. The other is from the previous generation, called the “post war cohort”. Probably because they grew up in (you guessed it) the aftermath of the second world war.
My parents both assumed they are from Generation X, when only one of them is. My Dad is actually a boomer. See, there are actually two generations of boomers.
Why? Because if you were a kid in the 1950’s, you don’t have anything in common with someone who was a kid in the 1970’s. It would be stupid to lump these generations together.
The same thing is probably going to happen with Generation Y, as Millennials are such a diverse group.
Who are Millennials?
Here’s a screen shot to answer that question.
For sake of discussion, let’s use 1977 – 1994 as our range of birth years. That means if you are age 22 to 40, guess what?
You’re a Millennial too.
That’s right, kiddo. Clutch your pearls. If you’re 37 in 2017, you’re a damned dirty millennial.
What’s that? You saw the word “minority” in the screen cap and were forming a response? Check the next paragraph.
That gives you 3 years. If you’re a smug 30-something, you’re probably a millennial. We’re smug like that.
Irony Trumps Everything
This fills me with joy, because some of the most obnoxious people to deal with (aside from the group people THINK are millennials) are 30-somethings who bitch about millennials.
Why does this fill me with joy?
Because identifying with another generation is a millennial trait in itself. The irony is delicious. Just when I think I can’t take another bite of it, I just HAVE to.
It’s just too good.
Don’t get me wrong, the educated idiots with bullshit degrees aged 22 to ~26 are pretty annoying. They definitely are millennials, but remember, so are you.
As much as you want to be a part of the lost generation, Generation X, you’re stuck with the millennials. At least until they redefine the generations.
Why Would Millennials Become Redefined?
Easy answer. Because of the internet.
The age you were when easy internet access entered your life has had a profound effect on you. I have more in common with 30 year old millennials than 25 year old millennials because I was offline for so long. That’s not the whole picture, though.
The world itself changed.
Just using American examples, how old were you when the World Trade Center was attacked? How old were you when the electoral college voted against the popular vote in 2000? There are a lot of examples.
If you were a kid in the late 1980s, your life was a lot different than a kid’s in 2002. Just like neither have anything in common with someone who played on an iPad while they were in diapers.
Generation X, Y, and Z
What about the generation after the millennials? That would be Generation Z.
1995 on, although there’s probably going to be a line drawn between 2010 and now. The world’s changed a lot in seven years.
Generation Z is the group that grew up with readily available smartphones and high speed internet. That’s an important distinction from Generation Y, the actual millennials.
Don’t see why? How many 16 year olds know what picking up the landline phone while someone was on the dial-up computer sounded like?
Generation X looked at Generation Y as a bunch of annoying kids, and Generation Y does the same with Generation Z. It’s a form of intergroup bias.
Most millennials have little in common with the group that annoys most millennials. The really annoying millennials were born on the cusp of Generation Z, which doesn’t have a name yet.
I’d go with Snowflakes. They all have Super Special Snowflake Syndrome.
See, saying things like that is also a millennial trait. We’re kind of like the baby boomers, but younger and hotter. Unless we’re suffering from a hormone imbalance, we say it like it is.
Millennials Aren’t All Bad?
Just the really young ones that were too young to realize all the bullshit they read on the internet isn’t true. You know, like the nonsense of more than one gender or believing you can identify as an animal.
The really young millennials will identify with generation Z, just like the older millennials think they’re part of generation X. Simply put, they have more in common.
The millennials in the middle feel torn between the two, because they don’t really jive with either. The truth is, the millennials in the middle are most like the boomers. Just younger and hotter.
The delicious irony is that this group either hates the boomers or pretends they are one!
I’ve got a solution for all millennials, and it’s a simple one.
Live Free, Millennials!
Watchmen was a shit movie, but there was one quote that always stood out to me.
“Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.” Edward Blake, Watchmen, Alan Moore, 1987
We’re a generation of jesters, laughing off a fucked up system. The people who were here before us fucked it up, we have to deal with it, and we don’t need to waste time bitching about it.
What not to do:
- Get your man sized panties in a bunch because you’re a baby Baby Boomer. Just without the booming economy and thriving culture to give you warm fuzzies.
- Pretend you’re the same as someone in their fifties, because, SURPRISE, you’re not. Trying to recreate the life they pretended to have isn’t going to work out any better for you than it did them.
- Pretend you’re the same as someone who is 16 when you’re grown. See, when you’re a teen, you don’t know better. When you’re an adult, it’s called being a “fucking loser”.
What to do:
- Take advantage of the plethora of opportunities you have by living in such a unique time. Millennials are now old enough to create with a purpose and young enough to enjoy it.
- Live more life away from a screen. We actually know how to do this because we’ve done it before, and we’ll need that edge against the younger Gen Z in the coming years.
- Have a good laugh, whether it’s at everyone else or with them. We do this better than anyone.
Every single day, I tell you to Live Free, Make Money, Pack Iron. You know who’s in the best position to do this?
Now get busy, we’ve got a lot of shit to fix and we need to do it while we’re still young enough and hot enough to enjoy it.