A more powerful word has never been spoken.
Anything and everything you’d ever need revolves around that one magical syllable.
I’ll tell you what I mean later in this post. For now, focus on what No can do for you.
If you’ve audited your life, that one word will be your salvation.
Most men won’t just say it once. They’ll need to say it many times, if only to make up for all the times they haven’t.
Before I tell you how to properly use the word “No”, I’ll explain to you why it has so much power.
You have to understand why before you can understand how.
Why NO Is The Most Powerful Word In Any Language
People seem to have a hard time saying no.
I’m not talking about drugs or sex or any of that. I’m not even addressing the commonplace and very fixable problem of obesity.
This is about people being nice.
If you were raised right, you were raised to be nice.
The reason for this is two-fold.
The first reason is that if you were raised right, your parents were probably nice people. They wanted you to grow up to be nice people like them.
That’s all well and good, until it isn’t.
The second reason you were raised to be nice is because your parents wanted you to be nice and safe.
Safe meaning normal.
Normal meaning never to aspire for more than what’s fair and nice and proper.
Want to be a banker? That’s nice.
Want to be a dentist? That’s nice.
Want to be a broke-dicked desk jockey? That’s nice, dear.
Want to be a party boy with a girl on each arm whose names you won’t remember? No, that’s not nice.
Want to be a business tycoon who spends days on the beach while his employees do the work? No, that’s not nice.
Want more than what’s fair and nice and proper? You just weren’t raised that way, son.
The Good News
No is a very, very easy word to learn to say. As long as you don’t have low testosterone, you can probably start saying it right now.
The Better News
Most people were raised just like you. They have a hard time saying no.
Their pain is your gain.
What No Can Do For You
First, the obvious. Anytime someone makes a request you don’t want to oblige, say no.
Don’t say anything more. You don’t need to.
If the cons outweigh the pros, just say no. Hell, if you just don’t feel like doing whatever they’re asking, say no.
I don’t really need to tell you this, but in case it never crossed your mind…
YOU DON’T OWE ANYONE ANYTHING.
You are your own man and can do as you see fit. If you don’t own yourself, you better figure out who does.
Then you can take further advantage of this magical word.
Saying no doesn’t just end singular events, it dismantles the entire structure that keeps those events coming.
These instances are where you can add a little flavor text to your strongly voiced No.
If you’re working a job and the boss man wants you to work this weekend, you can easily reply “No.” When he takes offense, you can say the four easiest words you’ve never said.
“Fuck This, I Quit.”
These four magic words, following a strong No, is the cure for what ails you, my friend.
If you’re married to a harpy who makes daily demands of money and time you can’t afford to waste, just say “No.” If she threatens to leave, tell her “Get the fuck out.”
If you’re constantly guilted by a family member who was never there for you as a child but mandates you serve them now, tell them “Go Fuck Your Self.”
Simply put, saying no means you don’t have to take shit off of anyone. Not saying No is exactly the same as saying yes.
Read that again.
NOT SAYING NO IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS SAYING YES.
“But that’s not nice!”
Damn skippy it’s not.
The baby steps version of leveraging the most powerful word in any language relies on this niceness.
Leveraging No – For Beginners
When people try to push their will onto you, you can say no without breaking a sweat. When you require something of them, they’ll usually comply.
Maybe you need an example.
You’re the boss.
You need your little worker, Sad Sack Sammy, to work this weekend. He doesn’t want to do it, but you need someone to fill the schedule.
You don’t ask him, because asking means you’re under his power. Don’t ask him, tell him.
You tell him, “Hey, Sad Sack Sammy. I need you to cover Lazy Larry’s hours this weekend.”
You know what he’s going to say?
Sad Sack Sammy doesn’t want to work. You know it, he knows it, the whole damn building knows it.
He wants to drink beer with the rest of the losers from the office. He wants to sheepishly ask his wife for sex he won’t get.
Guess what? She’s as good at saying no as you now are.
Sad Sack Sammy’s pain is your gain, and you don’t need to sweat that one whit. All he has to do to change things is say No and be his own boss.
He’s not going to do that, though.
He’s just too nice to quit and do what he actually wants.
Now I’m going to dig a little deeper and we’re going to get into the good stuff.
The Tao of No
If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of Tao, I’ll over-simplify things for you.
Heard of yin and yang? When opposites are in perfect harmony, the division ceases to exist. Tao is what’s left.
Balance. Flow. Harmony. Peak performance. About a thousand other words too, because you can’t really define it.
Tao isn’t a thing, it isn’t a way, it isn’t an idea. It simply IS. That isn’t relevant to this conversation, so just stick with my gross over-simplification going forward.
The yin to No’s yang is a word called “Yes”.
Perhaps you’ve heard this word before. This is the word you hear when you’re about to get what you want. We like Yes as much as we like No.
There’s just one difference.
No is what you say, Yes is what you hear. That’s your goal.
Simply put, the more you can say No and the more you hear Yes, the better off you’ll be.
For the sake of clarity:
NO is our Yang. Yang is representative of the masculine.
Yes is our Yin. Yin is representative of the feminine.
Return again to the concept of Tao.
Yes and No In Harmony
If you structure a situation appropriately, you’ll never have to worry about asking for anything you want.
Read that sentence again.
If you structure a situation appropriately…
You’ll never have to worry about asking for anything you want.
That’s the harmony of the Tao of No.
You’ve created an environment where the people you want things from want to say yes.
You’ve created an environment where people expect you to say no.
This creates an environment where the people you want things from are absolutely dying to say yes. They can’t get the YES out fast enough.
They’re practically desperate to give you what you want with almost no effort on your part.
The trick is in doing this in such a way that these two factors exist in harmony.
Maybe you need another example.
Let’s use sex as an example. Everyone understands sex. At least, everyone who should be reading this should understand sex.
You’re a man and you want to have sex with a woman. You don’t just want to have sex, you want to fuck like an animal.
Your objective should be to create an environment where the kind of woman you want will want to fuck like an animal.
You shouldn’t learn a bunch of stupid jokes and spike your hair and try to get her to like you. That’s trying to get a yes. We’re using No to get a Yes.
How to use NO to get a YES
How do you use No to get a Yes? By being out of her league. Easy.
Sex and relationships is a boring topic, so here are the bullet points.
- Identify the kind of woman you want.
- Identify the kind of man that woman wants.
- Regardless of what kind of man she wants, she wants lower body fat and more muscle than average. This isn’t about the kind of woman she is, it’s reality.
- You don’t have to go crazy dropping body fat. 10% to 15% will suffice if you have more muscle mass than average.
- You don’t have to go crazy adding muscle. If you’re 10 – 20 lbs bigger than the average man your weight, you’re fine.
- Style your hair, beard, and clothing in line with the kind of man your chosen demographic prefers.
Summary: Make yourself the very image of what this type of woman wants.
MAKE YOURSELF THE MAN SHE EXPECTS TO SAY NO
Some people will want it phrased simply, and for them I say this:
Be better than her.
If she’s a 6 in her own eyes, be an 8. Don’t get overly analytical with the numbers. The core of the message is just be better than her.
Be the kind of man she can’t lock down if she tried.
The particular woman that falls within the category of women you’d like to fuck like an animal will prefer you over other available options. If she’s going to fuck anyone, she’s going to fuck you.
Before you say “all women are unique”, no person is completely unique. Everyone has an in-group.
If you don’t understand intergroup bias well enough to determine her in-group, watch this video.
If you don’t know how to approach a woman for sex, read everything on this blog.
Don’t make this harder than it has to be.
This model works for damn near everything. Be the man that people expect to say No, and be the man they want to tell Yes.
“But I Don’t Want to Change Myself!”
Just get used to hearing No and saying Yes.