Here’s my video on turning your sob story into a success story. The article below the video is a lot more comprehensive. The video is just a quick rundown.
You’ve heard the same sob stories I have, and you’ve heard them a million times.
We’re going to break them down and look at the person behind the story.
Sob stories have three main things in common.
Every sob story has a negative undertone.
You can tell immediately that the person you’re listening to is a negative person living a negative life.
These are the people that consume huge amounts of news media and closely follow politics even when it doesn’t pertain to them. They are constantly looking for the next new piece of information that will stress them out and make them more miserable. They are subconsciously seeking anything that can help to dig them deeper into their sad little hole of a life.
They claim they want happiness but they actively seek out more strife.
They may even create it if they can’t find it from an outside source.
These are the people that constantly have some kind of chaos or drama in their life. It seeps from their every pore. It permeates the air around them.
You can immediately tell that you don’t want to be around them for too long because their negativity is toxic. They bring you down. They’re usually very selfish as well, so they don’t care if they bring you down. After all, a sob story without an audience doesn’t get them any pity, which brings us to the next point.
A sob story is almost always just a springboard for whining.
The sob story is almost never a truly tragic tale. Most often, its a perfectly average person with perfectly average problems complaining non-stop about their perfectly average life. I can’t blame them for hating it, I hated mine. So did everyone else who used to have an average life.
Even so, lets assume for a moment that it REALLY WAS a tragic tale.
Then its even worse of a sob story.
No one wants to admit it, but it’s a part of our nature as human beings to respect the winners and despise the losers. We respect, admire, and even fear the strong. We loathe, shun, and ridicule the weak.
Its true that we feel a need to protect the young, the old, and the infirm. This is instilled in us from some primal, tribal ancestry. We endure the burden out of love, but we know deep down that it is just that. A burden.
I was run over in 2004 and spent a lot of time in a wheel chair and a lot more time on crutches. During that time, and during the recovery afterward, I was a burden. I knew full well that I was a burden and I corrected anyone who tried to say otherwise.
Its popular now to patronize the young, the weak, the old, and the infirm. Make them believe that they’re every bit as useful to their tribe as a fit young man or woman. Its complete bullshit and if the youth, weakling, elder, or irresolute aren’t also morons, they see it for what it is. Its patronizing, plain and simple.
A sob story is playing the victim.
This is really the meat of the matter.
Spinning a sob story is just a way to make yourself out to be the victim. Every bad thing that is in your life isn’t your fault, its your parents or society or whatever else.
Well, as above, in some cases that actually is true.
The problem with playing the victim is that it is easier to say “oh, poor me…” and expect pity. It’s easier to stand there with your hand out and beg like a dog. It’s easier because it doesn’t require any effort.
Life gave the sob a raw deal, and now the dealt want a free ride because they feel like it’s owed to them.
Here’s the truth: LIFE DOESN’T OWE YOU SHIT.
You can whine and bitch until the cows come home and it doesn’t change the fact that nobody owes you a damn thing. Pretty or not, that’s just how it is.
Now lets move on to the success story.
Ever noticed that a success story has the same beginning as a sob story? Ever noticed the difference? The sob story stops at the “here’s a list of everything I’ve gone through…” and the success story continues with “…and here’s what I did about it.”
Everything about a sob story is reversed in a success story.
Every success story has a positive vibe.
You can immediately tell that you’re listening to a survivor with a positive outlook on life.
These are the people who shut off the outside world and reached deep within to find something inside themselves. They used it as kindling and the spark of their defining moment was nurtured until it became a roaring flame.
Less artsy people call that flame “determination”.
They knew what they wanted, what they needed to be happy, and they went after it.
Nothing and no one could stop them from getting it.
These people positively glow. They radiate an aura of invincibility. They march to the beat of a different drum, as if the sounds of a crowd cheering on a triumphant champion followed their every step.
People will do just about anything just to be in the presence of someone like that. For the most part, these successful people will oblige others as long as those others don’t radiate a toxic cloud of negativity. The negative people and their sob stories will look at the gladiator who stands up to the lion and think his success was somehow given to him.
A success story is almost always given in the spirit of motivation.
A success story is almost always an inspiring tale. It’s almost always the case of an average joe who had average circumstances and rose above them to unfathomable heights.
A success story is almost always a gift. A selfless gift to motivate and inspire you to follow in their footsteps.
It isn’t always, though. Lets assume that it’s just a story of vain arrogance from an ego maniac.
It’s not the least bit less impressive what they achieved, no matter if it changes your perception of that person.
Success is success and failure is failure. If that person is the biggest asshole on planet earth, they still walked into the arena of life and came through unscathed.
Probably the most telling part of the reaction people have is their real reasoning, the reasoning they may not even consciously realize themselves. Do you hate that person because they’re a vain, arrogant ego maniac, or do you hate that person because they succeeded where you failed?
Surely you’re a good judge of character and not just another hater.
What makes the subject even more complicated is that on the surface, people will claim to hate and ridicule the champion for his arrogance. Under the surface, they are envious of their strength. They are stirred by their resolve. They are aroused by their daring. Mostly, they are afraid. Afraid of the power of will of someone who can change the world around them.
A success story is an epic of survival.
As above with the sob story, this is the meat of the matter.
A success story is an example of an individual that survives.
Life threw everything it had at them, and they took every hit on the chin and kept coming.
They fell down seven times and got up eight.
They’ll never admit defeat. They’ll never give up.
They are a fighter who will withstand anything no matter how brutal and say “thank you, may I have some more?”
They know that the worse they endure, the stronger they’ll grow. The further life breaks them down, the bigger they’ll bounce back. There is nothing that could keep them from rising from the ashes and there never will be.
They’ll be there to put in the effort and they’ll be there to reap the rewards.
They aren’t looking for handouts because they never needed them before.
They’re going to take what’s theirs and that’s that.
They know the secret recipe to turn any sob story into another success story.
I shouldn’t say that. It’s not a secret, it’s the elephant in the room. Everybody already knows it, they just pretend not to know so they can keep their hand out and keep complaining about the raw deal they were dealt.
Here it is, in three (really two) easy steps.
If you’re a failure, its because you’re soft and that’s that. Whatever your goal is, you already know the way to get it.
Maybe you don’t, and you’re genuinely misinformed. If that’s you, then you’re in the right place. That’s who Business and Bullets is here for.
Maybe you do, but the fire’s gone out and you want to get it going again. If that’s you, then you’re in the right place. Lloyd’s here for you too.
Maybe you do, but you just don’t want to work hard to get what you want. If that’s you, get the hell off my site. I don’t want or need you here.
Whatever your goal is, you need to figure out how to go about getting it and work your ass off until you start getting it. There’s no shortcut. Nobody ever got strong without working their body hard. Nobody ever got rich without working their business hard. Nobody ever got what they wanted without having to work for it. Stop believing the myth of overnight success. It’s yet another lie you’ve been sold. Somebody paid in blood for it.
WORK SMART (optional)
Working hard is non negotiable.
Working smart is up to you.
If you want to lose weight then you can just work hard (read: diet hard) and eventually you’ll have dropped that weight.
You can refine the process by learning about nutrition and optimizing your workouts, but if I told you it was less that 80% diet, I’d be full of shit. You CAN work smarter once you’ve been busting your ass for a while, but if you’re 350 lbs and you think you can follow some program for 12 weeks and be a lean, mean, flexing machine then you’re dead wrong.
If you’re a complete idiot, you can just work hard and get all the smart work results. It’ll just take you longer.
Hard work gets results. Smart work just helps a little.
Even when you think it isn’t working fast enough.
Especially when you think it isn’t working fast enough.
Here’s a page on WEIGHT loss with my before and after picture.
Here’s a page with my before picture and my 1 month picture.
Quitting is the easiest thing in the world. I was not even remotely fit in the before or after picture, but my goal was purely losing weight. I succeeded in losing that weight, after having been grossly overweight for most of my life.
Guess what? Hard work isn’t actually that hard once you’re dedicated.
It’s only hard to start.
The reason you’ve never reached your goals is because you quit. You felt something wasn’t right, something wasn’t working, you were missing something, you needed something, whatever.
Chances are, you were just looking for a shortcut. You were trying to work smarter. Working smarter is OPTIONAL, but only AFTER you’ve been working hard. Working hard is non negotiable. If you work hard, you’re guaranteed to succeed unless you’re misinformed.
I’ve got you covered on a lot of information, assuming you’ve got the goals I had or the goals I have.
If you already know what you need to do, then you need to stop looking for a shortcut and start doing the hard work you know you need to do. It gets to be second nature and then it isn’t really all that hard anymore.
They call that “habit”.
So build the habit of being a badass and turn your sob story into a success story.
GET AFTER IT.