You can tell life is getting good when you start having more high quality problems than low. With that in mind, my life has been great for a while. I’m truly living a blessed life and I’m very grateful for that.
These high quality problems are interesting in that they sound even more like whining than when losers complain about their basic problems.
Poor me, I can wake up at noon if I want. I don’t have to worry about a bank repossessing my car or home. That’s what low quality people hear when you talk about your high quality problems.
Even knowing that, I’m going to talk about one of my many high quality problems right now. Specifically, meet-ups I’ve been invited to and turned down.
I’ve Been Invited To Meet-Ups Many Times
To date, I’ve had more offers to meet and engage with genuinely interesting people per year than there are months in said year. I could make an entire year of meeting up with interesting, high quality people. I know some people who are doing just that right now.
Why is this a high quality problem? Plenty of people have friends and acquaintances who want to see them.
It’s a high quality problem because most people fall into one of two categories:
- Morons who have lots of moron friends who expect them to “just chill” and do moron things with them.
- Geniuses who have a very limited selection of other geniuses to do genius things with.
I do not fall into either of these categories. Instead, I’ve connected with many interesting people over the past year. To date, I’ve had to turn down every offer to meet up.
Why? Why would I do this?
The Reality of Investment
Many of you know (or should know by now) that I was armed robbed in 2010. That changed my course, because it taught me I wanted to be a family man. What’s more, it gave me a crystal clear vision of what I wanted to do.
- Two children
- A wife who both is the mother my children need and a woman who won’t take my children from me
- A home I owned, so my children had a stable home base
- Two vehicles I own, to simplify transportation
- Pets for my children, affording them a healthy appreciation of animals
- Healthy relationships with both my family and my woman’s family, tribe for my children
- My own business, so no one can take away my ability to provide for my family
This last point brings us up to what these things cost.
Life is not a movie. 2017 is not 1717. You can’t make all of these things happen today without Uncle Sam and his state, county, and city friends taking their disproportionate piece of the pie.
So how much does this cost?
Cost of raising Two Children from birth to age 17: $467,220.00 (source)
Cost of keeping two pets, assuming they live ten years each: $12,270.00 (source)
Assuming you can’t get more than 200,000 miles from a car (source) and my household averages 15,000 per car per year…assuming the average mileage of 12,000 per year on average used cars (source) and we buy 5 year old used cars…with a starting mileage of 60,000 miles we can get up to a maximum of 9.33 years per car.
That means I will need to purchase 4 cars during my children’s childhood, costing me an estimated $8,000 per car (source) x 4 cars (not accounting for inflation) = $32,000. Now add in an average of $8,166.42 (source) for 9 years of car insurance (not accounting for inflation) x 4 cars = $32,665.68.
Yes, that’s more money spent on insurance than on the cars. And we haven’t even included Uncle Sam’s bullshit property tax allowing me the privilege of owning something I bought! How does an average of $225.00 (source) per car per year sound? 225.00 x 2 cars (at any one time) x 18 years = $8,100.00 (not adjusted for inflation) in taxes.
Now, how about oil changes? Assuming the average oil change costs $37.50 (source) and I change your oil every 3500 miles, that’s 40 oil changes per car. $37.50 x 40 x 4 = $6,000 in oil changes (not accounting for inflation, oil price fluctuations, etc). We won’t even get into gas prices, because that’s too variable a variable.
That brings us to $558,255.68.
And that figure doesn’t include gasoline expense. It also isn’t adjusted for inflation. Which means it costs a lot more than this figure.
It costs a fuck ton, in other words. And I’m doing it all without personal debt.
You show me another 27 year old in my position with zero personal debt and I’ll show you a liar. No one is doing what I’m doing because it takes both work AND luck. Usually, the lucky ones don’t work hard and the hard workers don’t have luck.
Even then, it means I have to make a lot of fucking money to be able to do this without going broke. I don’t just want to be not broke, though. Actually, I want to be ahead of the curve when I’m through this stage of life.
I ran these numbers before I did anything else.
I used 2010 figures and not 2016/2017 figures, though. Even then, it was still a lot of money. I knew what I was getting myself into (financially, at least).
Most people who have kids DO NOT do this. Most people who DO this DON’T have kids. They realize how much of a burden it is, they know how unlikely it is, and they either aren’t lucky enough or hard working enough to make it work.
All of this should give you a pretty good idea of why I don’t give two shits about meet-ups.
I wasn’t born with a massive trust fund. Hell, I wasn’t born with any trust fund. After imminent threat of death taught me what I truly wanted, I had to figure out how to make it work.
I did not want to have kids so I could “leave a legacy” or “pass on my genes” or any other bullshit. Those are weak reasons. “Preserving society” is an equally weak reason. So why did I do it?
Because I wanted to be someone’s Dad.
Guess what? That’s not a noble reason either! There is no noble reason to have children anymore. My reasons are selfish, pure and simple. My desire to be someone’s Dad outweighs my desire to keep my kids from experiencing the cultural shit show on the horizon.
They did not ask to be born. The best thing I can do to atone for that selfishness is give my children as close to an idyllic childhood as possible.
I deliberately chose to forego many freedoms until I can run these numbers and say, “I can afford this without borrowing or selling something.” Granted, I’ve taken many steps to lower this number to something more reasonable. It still means I forego many freedoms.
One of those freedoms is the ability to drop everything, meet-up and network with interesting people. No matter how much I’d enjoy it.
I have to work six metric fuck tons today or I won’t have much of a tomorrow. Neither will my family.
Sorry, not sorry.
People are the most important thing in life. Here’s the priority ranking for those people.
- My Children
- My Parents
- Everyone Else
Why do I come before everyone else, even my kids? Because I can’t give my kids much of a fucking life if I’m dead, can I? I don’t have that much life insurance.
Why do my parents come before everyone else? Because unlike most parents, they have done good by me. That makes me inclined to prioritize them above everyone else but my kids and me.
Sorry, not sorry. I won’t put you before my children. It’s not happening.
That might not be fair to you, but life ain’t fair. It’s nothing against you. It’s me sticking to my guns and keeping my priorities my priorities.
I can further subdivide the fourth group into interesting people (who I would eventually want to do meet-ups with) and boring people. Boring people are human furniture and I have no interest in meeting them.
The benefit of this is that I screen out the people with no staying power. If you’re still around, maybe I’ll see you at one of those meet-ups.
Until then, I’ll talk to you, have a conversation, maybe even collaborate. But I won’t prioritize meet-ups when I can’t guarantee a future for the people I owe more than anyone on the planet.